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Hello we just got back from ..a.dfaiofenakf da

Mission Status: Operation Completed

General: [to soldiers] Aten-Shun!

Soldiers: Sir! Yes! Sir!

General: I see here that our mission has been completed. Before signing off though, I’d like a report from each of the troops. Zucchini Platoon, you first.

Zucchini Platoon: Sir! Our objective for the operation was to obstruct the pathway to the gate as much as possible. To this extent our mission was a success. We hid our ulterior motives by producing an abundant amount of zucchini. Our victims never saw us coming. Although a few of our frontline fronds have experienced some slight injury from the opposition, we’ve managed to make the pathway incredibly difficult to navigate.

General: Very good. Cherry Tomato Division, what about you?

Cherry Tomato Division: General, like the Zucchini our objective was to overgrown our bounds and block the entering forces from the outside gate. With the help of some strong windstorms we managed to lean farther to the left, thus accomplishing our objective. Unfortunately, we’ve experienced some strong resistance from the opposition in the form of twine and tomato stakes. We are currently twined all the way to the far fence, making it difficult for us to maintain our forward position. We are however, looking for any opportunity to reinstate ourselves in the front lines.

General: Keep up the good work troops! Cucumber Calvary, how’s it comin’?

Cucumber Calvary: Sir! Yes! Sir! Our goal for the mission was to invade the next door neighbor’s garden with our climbing vines. So far we’ve managed to wrap ourselves around a nail, through the zucchini patch, up the fence and into the neighbor’s side of the fence. While only producing one edible cucumber, we’ve managed to maximize our time growing and invading our neighbor’s.

General: Only one cucumber, huh? I’m impressed. You don’t give in easily – good work! Sunflower Soldiers, what do you have to report?

Sunflower Soldiers: While misleading the opposition with our beauty, we’ve managed to draw a number of bumble bees and wasps into the patio region. This does a successful job keeping the opposition at bay.

General: I don’t know about consorting with the bees, their alliance can be risky… good work though. Jalapeño and Cayenne Squadron, what about you?

Jalapeño and Cayenne Squadron: We are producing spicy peppers in great abundance. While this has the disadvantage of attracting the male opposition, it drives the female opposition away successfully. As she is the one usually providing us with water, we thought this would be a useful technique.

General: So you’re takin’ after the Japanese kamikazes, huh? Good inspiration. Basil Brigade?

Basil Brigade: We’ve managed to mask our secret objective by producing an abundance of pleasantly-smelling basil. Undercover of the basil, we’ve infiltrated a large number of beetles and black flies. Despite applications of insecticidal soap, we’ve stood our ground.

General: Excellent. Big Boy Tomato Division, what about you?

Big Boy Tomato Division: Sir! We’ve driven the opposition mad with the temptation of perfectly lush, home-grown tomatoes that have yet to ripen. The opposition has waited patiently for weeks now, and still we’ve managed to withhold our ripened fruit.

General: Well done boys! That’s not easy. Bell pepper Platoon?

Bell Pepper Platoon: After much resistance, we finally had a few of our soldiers fall to the opposition and start bearing fruit. We don’t plan on letting these soldiers die easily, though. It will be awhile before they reach maturity and are completely overtaken. The broccoli has joined us in our endeavors as well; they have begrudgingly started fruiting.

General: I’m glad to hear of your resistance. Hold out and don’t give in easily! Green Onions? … Green Onions?

Basil Brigade: We’re sorry to report, sir, that the green onions have all fallen casualty to Wednesday night’s dinner. The opposition failed to plant enough green onions to withstand the duration of the operation.

General: I’m sorry to hear of our losses, boys. I would like to commend you all though on your brave and dedicated resistance. Keep up the good work!

The editor of this blog would like to apologize for posting stupid entries like the one above in which renegade vegetables exhibit a frightening reality to humans—the editor understands that this isn’t Veggie Tales. The editor would also like to preempt any necessary apologizing by explaining that her understanding of the military and it’s inner workings is really just a compilation of Blockbuster features and historical fiction about WWII—admittedly not the best resources.

This is Dave. Hello. In general he’s a rather quiet, studious, and calm person. That all changes though when our trip in Arizona is coming to an end. Suddenly, he has a burning desire to wake up at 4:30 in the morning, pull on a swimming suit and head out to the lake before returning to Ohio. I can understand the desire to see the desert mountains and soak in a few more rays of Arizona sunshine, but 4:30? (P.S. I’ll let you think he’s hard core, but in reality we woke him up at about 5:10 from a sound slumber—he claims his alarm must be broken.)

You see, he has this rather unexpected talent. He can flip upside down on a wake board.

He can complete a tantrum, back roll, scarecrow, whirly bird, air raily, and s-bend.

I’m not really sure how to do all those tricks, how to identify all those tricks, or even what all those tricks are. But, boy, they sure are impressive!

And, if those tricks aren’t enough for you, he also knows some rather cool hand signals. These signals can be used to say anything like, “slow down,” “speed up,” “just a little bit,” or, in this case, “double back.”

So that he can get an even bigger wake, to do something like this…

And this is my sister-in-law, Lisa. She’s pretty cute. She wears fashionable clothes, styles her hair, and always smiles at the boys.

She’s tough though. When it comes to wakeboarding, she likes to play with the boys. Even with a hurt ankle, she still manages to pull off something like this…

This is my father-in-law, Paul. He drives the boat. And he does it so well.

Except of course when he’s doing this…

Or this…one of the Rowley family’s favorite tricks…back from the days when slalom skiing was still cool…

And this, this is my husband. Back in the high school he would ask girls out in front of the school auditorium. He’d stroll up, say, “Hey, you want to go to the lake with us on Saturday morning?” and then thoroughly impress them with his cool wakeboarding abilities.

It’s good to know that seven years later, he’s still got the skills that first made my heart go pitter-patter. I don’t know what I would do otherwise.

And then, then there’s me…

Nope that’s not me, sorry; I don’t look that cute at 5:30 in the morning. This is me.

This is about all I can produce out on Saguaro Lake…Not only can I not complete, or even attempt, any cool tricks, but I also have the gall to complain that my fall hurt my head and decide to cut my run short. I really let the Rowley clan down. It’s a wonder they even let me into the family.

The Rowleys are known for their competitive spirit. If anything can be turned into a competition it usually is, with clearly defined rules, regulations, and winners. Nothing gets the Rowley blood flowing like a good ol’ sprited rivalry. This spirit seems to become even more pronounced around family holidays.

Take, for example, Christmas, a time in which good will and love towards all should abound. Not on Christmas morning, though. See, someone must be designated “Santa” every year. This is a coveted position, and not one to be taken lightly. Santa hands around the gifts and determines who gets to open what gift and when. It is a position of authority that many a Rowley child has fought for through the years.

If that’s not a good example, consider Easter. The Rowley family Easter Egg Hunt is not an event to be taken lightly. Despite the fact that all the children are grown, and egg hunts tend to appeal to younger generations, we still line up inside the house, rearing and anxious to collect twelve eggs first so that we can lord it over our siblings and claim the honored position of “First” throughout the upcoming year.

So, all things considered. It is no surprise that the Fourth of July wouldn’t result in some sort of competition as well. A simple barbeque and swim in the pool was a perfect excuse to compete amongst the siblings.

Things got a bit energetic when the boys—and Lisa, of course—decided they would play a simple game of water “PIG”. It didn’t just end there, though. They had to race across the pool and back too. Oh, and don’t forget that it was important to line up for a final photo, depicting the winners of the race.

And then it was time to barbeque. I must admit that there was a little friendly competition about who could grill the best steaks too. Don’t worry though; they were all great and very yummy! Without seeing any fireworks, we managed to celebrate the Fourth of July twice, once a week early, and then again with the Rowleys. Only the second time, Scott had some super, sweet bug-glasses to showcase.

We had a great time!

[Candace does a super-cool back flip off the back of the jet ski as Dave shoots over a wave, nearly giving Robin a heart attack and thoroughly impressing the rest of the Rowleys who cheer from the sidelines.]

[The curtain closes as the Rowley's clean up the Rocky Point house, bundle into their cars, and head off for the border. They wave good-bye and fondly remember the good times they had at the beach.]

Kevin: Is there anything to do in Rocky Point at night, besides taking photos?

Scott: Doesn’t look like it.

Robin: Everyone keep their khaki and white clean and unrumpled, we’re going to have to take photos again tomorrow.

[Groans heard by all.]

Scott: But it’s too hot!

Steve: I don’t know if Lake will be much better tomorrow.

Kendee: Good, my hair didn’t turn out so well anyway and my shorts are all wet.

Lonica: Does this shirt make me look pregnant?

Lake: Can I fly my kite now? I was a good boy!

Paul: Whatever you want, Robin.

[The Rowley clan marches back to the house, some cast members grumbling under their breaths.]

Scott: Steve, are we going to have our throwdown?

Steve: I don’t know, I didn’t get my ingredients.

Scott: Well, I brought all mine. We should do it. I could totally take you on.

Steve: Yeah, right! You’re on!

[Scott disappears to his room to retrieve the wood chips, his magic rub, and his latex gloves. Watching nervously, Steve consults the women.]

Steve: Do you think I can do it?

Kendee: Sure, honey, you make great burgers. I don’t even like burgers and one weekend I wanted to eat those two days in a row!

Steve: Yeah, but Scott is like, totally prepared. What should I do?

Lonica: Do you have the ingredients you’ll need.

Steve: I think I could find them. Should I put bacon in the burgers?

Kendee: Whatever you’d like.

[Steve and Scott both disappear to the kitchen, mixing together seasonings, ground beef, and other secret ingredients.]

Scott: Yummm… my burgers sure smell good Steve. I think you’re going down.

Steve: I could take you on in my sleep!

Scott: Yeah! I’ll never tell you what’s in my rub.

[ Meanwhile, Robin and Lonica begin making their guacamole for the Guacamole Throwdown.]

Robin: Lonica, is it okay if I use this onion?

Lonica: Sure, I don’t need too much.

Robin: Wow, Lonica, this sure tastes good what have you put in it?

Lonica: Oh, just a little tomatoes, salsa, lemon, garlic salt, onion powder. You know. Yours tastes really good too, Robin.

Robin: Thanks, I’m glad you like it.

[After the boys finish their burgers, the family gathers to test and compare the competitors creations. Later that evening, after family photos, everyone gathers while Dave reads the verdict.]

Dave: And the voting declares, Robins guac has 6 votes, Lonica’s has 5 votes! Robin you win!

[Tense silence awaits the Hamburger verdict.]

Dave: Steve takes the burger throw down! Congratulations!

[Exit: Lonica and Scott return to their room, hanging their heads in shame.]

Setting: Rocky Point Mexico. Present Day, June 29-July 3, 2008. Most of the action takes place at Paul and Robin’s Casa Fiesta y Siesta, the sight of many past enjoyable trips to the beach. The beach backs up to one side of the house and desert mountains can be seen in the distance from the other side of the house. The weather throughout the action is warm, humid, and windy. The characters are often amazed at the extreme tide fluctuations, as the water came up higher during their visit than was ever previously seen. Individual scenes from the trip also take place at a nearby resort, The Mayan Palace, and in town at the fish market.

Characters: The cast of characters was large, boisterous, and always looking for a good time. They include:

Miley Kate Rowley, daughter of Steve and Kendee Rowley. As the youngest and newest member of the family, she enjoys her mother’s milk, long naps on the beach, maintaining her milky white skin in the shade of the porch, showcasing her expansive collection of headbands, in every matching color, and exploring everything in reach with her tongue.

Lake Michael Rowley, oldest son of Steve and Kendee Rowley, also referred to as “Lake Macaroni” because sometimes “Michael Rowley” just isn’t as fun to say. Some may claim that he’s a spoiled grandson; he certainly isn’t in need of attention. He always has a companion, whether its an aunt, uncle, grandma, or grandpa, while digging in the sand, playing in the waves, coloring with markers, watching Dora or Diego, and riding the jet ski and four-wheelers. He has proven that the “Rowley Crack” is not just a generational fluke, but rather an inherited trait. He’s always good for a laugh, as he’s willing to repeat almost anything. Including a large array of Spanish vocabulary he is quickly picking up.

Lisa Michelle Rowley, youngest daughter of Paul and Robin Rowley. Also known as “Wisa” to those who cannot yet pronounce the letter “L”. Lisa just graduated from Mountain View High School and plans to continue her education this fall at BYU. She likes to spend time with a special someone, and hang out with friends on the weekend.

Sarah Lynn Rowley, oldest daughter of Paul and Robin Rowley. Sarah just returned from a seven week study abroad in Jerusalem, where she learned about the Holy Land, studied, and developed and awesome tan. Like Lisa, Sarah likes to spend time with a special someone and will start her junior year at BYU this fall.

Kevin Fish, younger brother of Candace Rowley. Kevin manages a nursery in Utah, but likes to relax on the beach in his spare time. He wasn’t aware that he was such a good photographer until he decided to join the Rowley’s in Mexico; at which time he was roped into snapping hundreds of family photos.

Lonica Marie Rowley, wife of Scott Rowley. Lonica finished teaching in June only to find herself without a job, without any plans, and without any hope at finding a new teaching job. The perfect set up for a long relaxing trip to the beach, in her opinion. Her attempts to compete with Sarah’s tan left her shoulders sunburned and the rest of her white. Her attempts to complete the latest Stephanie Meyer book were successful, however.

Scott Robert Rowley, youngest son of Paul and Robin Rowley. Scott took a break from his summer clerkship with Brian G. Miller’s law firm to join his family on the beach in Rocky Point. Relaxing in the sun, reading good books, playing in the surf was all part of his summer vacation.

Candace Fish Rowley, wife of Dave Rowley. Candace flew from Utah, where she attended her grandmother’s funeral, to join the Rowley clan at Rocky Point. A graphic designer and Photoshop pro, she was crucial in turning out a winning Rowley family photo!

David Michael Rowley, second son of Paul and Robin Rowley. Dave took a break before his fourth year rotations began to relax on the beach in Rocky Point. A doctor-in-training, he likes to spend all his spare time out on the golf course. Almost any weather is the right weather for golfing, according to Dave.

Kendee Rowley, wife of Steve Rowley. The proud mother of two, Kendee spends her time raising two awfully cute kids; that is of course, when they aren’t being held by one of the their many aunts, uncles, or grandparents. A stellar organizer, before coming to Mexico she consolidated their household belongings for the great move to San Antonio.

Steven John Rowley, oldest son of Paul and Robin Rowley. A recent graduate of Kellogg’s Business School, Steve is looking forward to starting a new job with ProLogis at the end of this summer. He enjoys orchestrating Rowley family events and spending time on the beach with his family.

Robin Rowley, wife of Paul Rowley. The proud mother of five and grandmother of two enjoys relaxing on the beach. The Rowley clan can thank her for supplying them with sustenance during their vacation. Self-less and giving, Robin wins over everyone’s hearts.

Paul Rowley, husband of Robin Rowley. As the leader of this Rowley clan, he provides good companionship and entertainment, without whom this vacation would never have happened. Never one to sit out on any adventure, Paul is always willing and ready for whatever may come his way, whether it’s an ill-fated trip to Bird Island, a quad ride around the estuary, wave jumping with the jet skis, or simply playing around with his grandson.

Chewy Rowley, part human/part Rowley family pet. Easily competitive with Lake for the “Most Spoiled” award, Chewy would never be found anywhere the Rowley were not. Despite the fact that his fur blends in with the sand like a chameleon, he is invited on all Rowley family expeditions to Rocky Point.

Stay tuned for Act I, Scene 1 of The Rowley Family Vacation in Rocky Point.

I headed out for Mesa on Tuesday afternoon. Scott wouldn’t arrive until Friday evening. My mom and I took advantage of his absence to do lots of shopping. We ran errands, shopped, and talked until our feet and mouths were tired.

After Scott arrived Friday, we just had a simple dinner, before heading to bed. Saturday was filled with lots of fun activities though. We woke up early to eat at “Matt’s Big Breakfast” as showcased on Dinner’s Drive-In’s and Dives. Preston was antsy to go eat there for his birthday, so we relented and waited in the heat to be seated.

While we were waiting though, we headed over to the Phoenix Farmer’s Markets. The name is really a misnomer though, because is really more of a sampling plaza than a market. We tried every flavor of Jamba Juice, breads from the Bread Basket, fresh goat cheese and butter, shrimp cocktails, whole wheat tortillas, and fresh honey. With all that food, it was difficult to still be hungry for breakfast, but we managed the feat!

My food was good, but not nearly as good as the pancakes Raquel and Preston ordered. Luckily, with so much food on my plate, I was able to trade my eggs, hash browns, and bacon away for bites of pancakes. Yummy! I would highly recommend the little dive—and not just because they have fresh oj.

After breakfast, we headed out to the Salt River for an afternoon of tubing down the river. However, when we arrived we took one look at the bikini-clad chicks, coolers of beer, and incredibly long lines for the shuttle to the top of the river and decided it wasn’t the scene for us.

We headed back to the house and just spent the afternoon swimming in our pool. We had a good time playing baseball in the pool, using rather revised rules and equipment.

Afterwards, we dressed to go watch Wall E and spent the rest of the weekend saying “Walll—eeee” and “Eeeevaa” while reaching for each other’s hands. We enjoyed the show and had a good time.

We ended the weekend with Preston opening his birthday gifts and gathering around the kitchen island to sing happy birthday and blow out candles—in typical Drain style. Raquel made her first ever ice cream cake and it sure was yummy! We had a good early birthday weekend for both Preston and the Fourth of July!